swipe card

i have come to the realization that i will lose my will to live if i have to rely on corporate jobland forever.
i would rather gouge my eyes out.
in order to be happy i feel i must be in an outdoor setting getting my hands dirty and/or working for myself.
i must remedy this situation, stat.

no copy machines, no fluorescent lights, no swipe cards, no meetings, no conference room, no speaker phone, no touching base, no proactivity, no keeping people in the loop, no getting back to you, no faxing, no recycled recirculated air, no cubicles, no elevators, no receptionists, no corporation.