after work yesterday i went to mt. sinai to talk to the psychiatrist and see if i'm qualified to take part in a medical study on internet addiction. she was very nice, asked me a bunch of questions, and was able to come to the conclusion that i am perfect for the study. it's been going on for a year and i am the last person to enter it. i'm pretty happy about it.
next i have to get a physical examination and some bloodwork to make sure everything's healthy and ready to go. they're going to be putting me on 10 mg. of lexapro for 12 weeks and at some point during the 12 week period they are going to switch and put me on a sugar pill for a 2 week stint and see the kind of changes i exhibit. lexapro is for depression and anxiety and internet addiction is an obsessive-compulsive problem. people who become depressed tend to turn anxious and develop obsessive compulsive behaviors. obsessive-compulsive people lack seratonin in their brains and lexapro perportedly increases levels of seratonin so they are trying to make a distinct correlation between lexapro and reduced obsessive-compulsive behaviors. i'm excited to see the results but i don't know what i'll do if i want to remain on the drug once the study is over.
after the 12 weeks are up, they will put me on either a placebo or lexapro for 9 additional weeks and neither i nor the psychiatrist will know which pill i'm taking. i'm sure i'll figure it out from the way i behave around the computer. i will be visiting with the psychologist for an hour every other week and she will be closely watching any changes i have with regards to my addiction. i get $25 for each visit with her and i get $50 for the medical exam/blood tests. i'm not really concerned with the compensation, i'm just glad i get to be a part of this.
lexapro is FDA approved which puts me at ease somewhat.
it's not like i don't realize what i'm doing when i get on the computer. i could probably change my habits on my own but i'm curious to see what the drug does.
when you're addicted to something - whether it's drugs, sex, food, the internet, or even exercising, it's because you are trying to gain an extreme amount of power over one aspect in your life in order to make up for the fact that other parts of your world seem to be swirling out of control. i realize this and want to fix it and learn how to focus on things that are really important.

since the hospital is all the way on the upper east side, after my appointment bryan met me up there and we went to sachi for the most wonderful sushi rolls and avocado/yellowtail tartar salad. after we ate we took a cab to times square and saw harry potter 3 which was very entertaining except i was freezing my ass of the entire time since i was only wearing a skirt and a short sleeved shirt. you know how they love to crank that a/c at those big ass movie theaters.
i'm going to trader joe's with christine today for the very first time! what to buy, what to buy?
i really want to see fahrenheit 9/11 today but i hate going to the movies on opening day. i might go to a party with shishaldin later but i have to wait and see how social i feel. you never can tell with me.