today at work there was a physically challenged man i felt so sad. he was pushing a mailroom cart.
i thought about how lucky i am and how i should be helping people, not dwelling on myself all selfish and pointless all the time wasting time.
i want to bring my straw beach mat to work and the aim is to spend an hour a day at bryant park with no one noticing i'm gone (very likely).
i wrote a bunch of deep stuff while drunk and on the subway sat. nite.
i will share it for i have no shame.

main points:
-stop being afraid to learn skills.
-stop being afraid to invite people out.
-stop being critical of me and others.
-stop feeling inferior.
-stop obsessing over petty things i cannot control.
-stop being closed off and solitary.
-stop being driven by quantity instead of quality.
-stop neglecting my body.

i am reconsidering doing the medical study because i don't want to fuck myself more.
i am ovulating hardcore right now and it makes me so tired. maybe it's time to use my parts.